Hollywood Personal Assistant

I used to feel like I was a sober buddy when I hung out with Leo because he was bossy and sounded drunk.  But now he's older and he's just bossy.   Last night was out of control.  I'd been drinking what felt like TOO MUCH the past 2 nights and had trouble sleeping (Irish Alarm Clock waking me up--that's where you wake up when you sober up) and so last night I was going to not drink and get my book proposal done after Leo went to bed.  that was the dream.  But after being yelled at to get Mr Quakers...Make THIS noise or THAT noise....DON'T DANCE...now...DANCE!...NO SINGING! NO SINGING!!!now sing like THIS!  I was drinking mouth wash.

EXHAUSTED. I was totally exhausted.  I'd forgotten to listen to ONE song that I like yesterday or read one chapter of a book that I want and had been working and with Leo all day.  Now I'm listening to music and doing this and he's still sleeping.  I've got to get all my singing and dancing out before he wakes up and I'm under Taliban rule.

Last night as I was reading him "on the day you were born" (he just likes that the little figure that represents HIM keeps changing colors.  he keeps asking 'what color am I NOW?"  I'm very specific. "now you're mixed race with a Puerto Rican Father...okay now you're mixed with a white mom and korean father okay now you would NEVER want to live in Arizona..")  and he yelled at me to hug him but no kissing.  Just like all my gay high school boyfriends.  

yesterday at the YWCA one of the women ('Teacher Somebody' I call her) said to me that Leo is famous at the school for the being the happiest little kid there.  "he's just happy all day long. he's our happiest little person here and he's pretty famous for it".   To be exact is what she said.  I knew she wasn't supposed to be saying that in the earshot of the other little kids so I turned her in and she got fired. 

I'm kidding.

a very proud nanny yesterday on the playground--her kid is Lisa, a hilarious little Russian 2 year old who talks and sounds like a 50 year old Russian man-talking with her hands a lot and looking like 'the winter will be hard...no?"  hardy yet in a  dress.  I love her.  Anyway the nanny is very proud of what she does and told me not to call the bucket swing a baby swing because then the kids make fun of kids who want to be in them.  I agreed with her which was a mistake because then she started her tutorial on parenting...in hindsight I think she was selling her services to me.  I told her that I don't usually call the bucket swings Baby swings usually..I call them 'spoiled fat kid holders".  And she said OH MY.

oh my.

Jeff is out to sea fishing. He was sounding so tired and run down yesterday that it was kind of sweet because he wasn't in that 'fisherman man' energy "i could kill a moose' mode but it worried me of course.  I think they have a 9 hour trip to get to where they will be doing the actual fishing so he'll have some time to sleep.  But he said the weather was supposed to be a little rough.  ouch.

I'm off to Portland in a week.  babysitting while i'm there will cost me 750 dollars. Does anyone want to come and sleep on the couch and babysit 4 hours a day if I fly them out?  And not talk to me at night so i can get writing done?    You have to like Leo and riding trains. this may be a bit last minute.    But i'd rather invest the 750 in plane tickets.....