I SHOULD BE GETTING A JOB INSTEAD OF THIS

Jeff took Leo out this morning--like we do every morning--so I could prepare for the 2 auditions I have today. But all I've been doing is looking at pictures of Leo and trying to find used musical instruments for babies on line. A little baby tuba perhaps.

This blog has become Leo's babybook--which is maybe not the best thing because I don't even know how the storage of information on blogspot is going to be holding on in 30 years from now--which is when I'd want Leo to read it. Suddenly--this as a baby book seems like a bad idea. I need more coffee so I can have a neurotic fit about that.

I have a sappy baby thing that I've been thinking about. It's that Leo has turned my life into what I wanted it to be. So I'm not mad at him for being born--he'll be happy to know. Yesterday I was thinking about how I never sat on the beach even though I jogged past it daily. it was just this backdrop---and now--we sit and look at the ocean with Leo every morning. And suddenly it seems unbelievable that we were living so close to it and never really taking it in. We've been really digging our neighborhood--(or trying to since we can't move.)

Zach comes over for dinner once in a while and to take a shower. It's like we're sponsoring a homeless person. He has a shower in his place but it doesn't work. He's still hard at work trying to get a job. It's so fun to have him come over for dinner--and then leave as soon as he's done. It's not fun that he leaves--that sounds wrong--it's just fun this new dynamic. And we're always thrilled when he comes over. He and Jeff talk about macho things like fish and hairnets.

Leo is moments away from walking or something..or maybe he's just going to be a stander. He'll be great at bus stops. He stands up on his own and it's very exciting. I'm curious what kind of toys I should be getting him now--and if some of his baby toys are too young for him now. I guess I'll just get him video games now. I'M KIDDING. I want to get him a cheap casio organ to play--he likes banging and music stuff. But it would be nice if I could control the volume. On his shrieking too.

Another "LEO PERK" is when he rides on my back in the ergo. He slaps me on the back like a good horse--and pulls my hair like an abusive boyfriend and loves it. I would have made a good native american because I could have him strapped on my back all day long. I should do that--go to auditions with him.

Speaking of auditions--i have a few today--and they are both ones that should be perfect for me---yet I'm already trying to deal with the fact that I'm not going to get them. that's the attitude!!!!