Leo is three years old pretty soon

The past three years didn't really fly by like everyone said. But it is odd/sad how quickly they are people.  Leo is a people.  Which is kind of a blow.  He doesn't just do what I want him to do and lay on a blanket and look at leaves with me.   He gets mad..he sings..he dances to The Ramones and he says things like "STOP LAUGHING" when I laugh too much.   He's a fierce little spirit of a very cute and entertaining kid. 

My friend Dan and I were talking about the sacrifices we make for family...about choosing family over career (he was talking about his dogs but I understand it's the same in some senses.  He did breast feed them)  and he was saying that he didn't want to take a job in NY because he simply became unhinged when he was away from his family.  Even though the jobs that were coming up were pretty good..but they'd have to be LIFE CHANGING to get him to make the sacrifice.  Which is exactly how I feel and I am so glad for it.    I realize that to talk about my career on Leo's birthday is sort of-exactly what you'd expect of me but it did hit me that the biggest fear I had was losing the ability to create and travel and do theater.  My ambition was so fierce yet I was so sure that I wanted was a kid.   And Leo is here.  And life is better.  Jeff and I are better.  All is better.  Except he won't let me talk on the cell phone. Which honestly, is better. 


My favorite thing is to look back at old pictures of Leo and videos yet it's also torture because those moments are so fleeting...which is kind of the bottom line of life so I like being reminded of that too.  Okay so now I've changed my mind--the last three years have gone by so fast that I can't even stand it...