Jeff is 7 months pregnant! We're so excited. He was so worried that at 47 he couldn't conceive...but miracles DO happen if you believe.so far the only people really showing pregnancy are Jeff and my butt.
On Saturday night a woman (who symbolically is named SHARON) took one look at me and said "you're carrying the baby all back here.." and she reached out and patted my butt. Like a basketball player who thought she was on my team. And now the other Sharon in my life has warmed me about weight gain and keeping my weight down. What to do....
Yesterday I went to a full on Maternity Clothing store to buy some new bras (DOUBLE DD'S for GODSAKE) and some jog bra's. The last two times I've gone running I've had worker men in their vans slow down to watch me jog by and they gave me the 'thumbs up'. Which is sign that yes my butt is bigger and that I need a better jog bra. I bought two dresses that immediately made me look like I was showing. In my own clothes I look chubbier and in maternity clothes I look like a lady in early pregnancy...it's how you SPIN it..that's what Hollywood has taught me.
the opening WEEKEND of IMAGINE THAT was a hit with all my family but it seems like every review started with 'another bomb from Eddie'. Poor Eddie. Poor multi-millionaire Eddie.
NEWS FROM SANTA MONICA.... Jeff is going to Alaska to work as a supervisor in a Salmon Canary for five weeks and Zach has done a miraculous thing..he's graduating from high School on Thursday. He's still had no luck in finding summer work....so if you know of any ice cream stores in your area who would hire a kid who's all hair and all charm let me know..
ANXIETY...the newest development with the pregnancy has been the anxiety. HOW FUN AND MAGICAL... Out of nowhere I'll have what feels like almost 'death anxiety". Which with the help of my friend Hilary I've figured out is death anxiety..the death of my old life and the coming of...I don't know what. Hopefully a baby. It helps if I smoke some pot and have a glass of vodka. And eat sushi.
In less than a week we'll know if the baby is going to be Nico...the girl or Niko the boy. don't mock that name..i'm considering it.
We'll also be happy if the baby is transgendered. Then Nico will fit perfectly.
What fun is it when a pregnant woman doesn't look pregnant? It's like the Golden ticket to bulge and be voluptuous and not be guilty. enjoy the butt wiggles and the new bra size and celebrate! It's only a few months of a fabulous and glorius experience. People love pregnant women- so enjoy the attention and the extra Pinkberry's and forsake all other naysayers!! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI mis spelled glorious- how sad.
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