that's what I realized the other day--I feel like I'm hanging out with a drunk celebrity all day now that Leo is 13 months old. I just chase after him all day--watching him charm people while I have to worry about what insane thing he'll do next. Yesterday he ate a piece of dog shit at the park. Jeff didn't want to tell me that it happened because he was worried I'd be mad. He started off by saying to me "okay-something happened yesterday that I wasn't going to tell you about." He made a few jokes like "Leo and I got a couple of hookers' etc etc while my mind raced--HE CHOKED..HE PICKED UP A NEEDLE IN THE PARK AND PUT IN HIS MOUTH--HE RAN INTO THE STREET-HE DRANK A LATTE...when I found out it was dog shit I was glad because now maybe he'll learn not to pick up every brown dry piece of STUFF off the ground and shove it in his mouth. Aversion therapy--like my weight loss hypnotist used on me when I was 16. Though I now recall that after every session with the hypnotist I'd run across the street to get a frosty at Wendy's before my mom came to pick me up.
Leo got a new pair of shoes today--ones with TRACTION on them. So he can compete on a level playing field. I feel like I need all new toys after seeing all the great toys EVERYBODY ELSE HAS. Either that or we have to get deeper and more spiritual and make our lives about something more than things. But that sounds like it would take a really long time.
Well...we returned on Sunday night after 2 weeks in the midwest. It's hard to come back because everyone seems so pretentious here. Really. I miss casual attire and pizza. And my family. We had an amazing time--and it really was worth the hell day of travel on Sunday (6 hours on a plane with Leo. He did okay--a few old ladies thought he did great but they didn't get punched in the face by him while he flailed around trying to get comfortable. I would let him walk up and down the aisles and touch everybody's computers as he passed by--to punish them for not traveling with children.) Anyway---I just feel...better after seeing everyone. I have officially turned into a family person. don't tell hollywood.
Speaking of Hollywood--I returned from my trip and had TWO acting offers---which is a big deal (in a way) because normally you have to audition and go thru all sorts of call backs etc etc before you're offered something--and I got called by 2 shows who know me and just offered me a part. Both parts are smaller guest spots. One is on a show called Childrens Hospital--a comedy on Adult Swim and the other is for True Blood on HBO. The True Blood one is for a character who is a 'white trash' lady and I'm really a panther and I end up raping one of the vampires. I'm not a pretty-likable character. Sorry mom and dad. One of the lines says "her grayed granny panties are on the floor" so you get the picture. And it's a sex scene where I start to cry. though no nudity. Just the granny panties on the floor. I've still got theater...
Our week in Michigan at the KCATF conference was fun. The highlight was when we found out the hospitality room was going to be RIGHT NEXT TO OUR HOTEL ROOM. which meant I could put Leo to bed and then go drink with all the Midwestern Theater professors. I made one contact with the dramaturg from IRT and he said they have a solo festival. So there is hope there. Leo was great and loved the hotel and the escalators. and the breakfast buffet and the stairs. And The Muppet Movie--which he watched a few times. It's never too early.
But mostly we all got a huge hit of love--first the Weedmans and then the Harrisons and then the Lilly's. We asked him who his favorite family was and he said he could never choose. Everybody was pretty sweet and wonderful to him. I want to give a huge acknowledgment to my Mom for cooking and hosting us at her house so many nights--it made it so much easier and fun with Leo to be at their house. And for matt and Danza for opening up their house to everybody. And to Rob and Debbie for letting us crash their last night of their vacation--I know that the holidays are exhausting for everybody--but it was worth it for us. I hope it was for you all. If not--I don't want to hear about it. I'm exhausted.
And the cousins...oh man. Leo had an amazing time with all his cousins. I hardly remember my cousins from growing up. Well, that's not completely true. I have some memories. My most vivid one is of a cousin from New Palestine spitting on our carpet. I hope that we can continue to be brave and get us to the Midwest as much as possible.
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