and suddenly he's 7

I was just looking thru the photos I took today and he looks OLD. Like Nora Ephron "I hate my neck" old. Oh wait--THAT'S ME. He got a hair cut the other day. At the charming place where they sit in little airplanes and the women cutting hair must be turning tricks in the back room because you've never seen a more dead eyed group of distracted attractive women. In fact the woman cutting Leo's hair kept stopping to go whisper into another womans ear and then they would excuse themselves from the room and leave Leo and I alone waiting for them while they went into the back room. No idea what was going on. But got the hair cut. Every time they would excuse themselves I'd respond to their "I'm sorry-we'll be right back" with OH MY GOD--WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHAT'S HAPPENING YOU GUYS?!!!" and they'd just walk away. And then I felt guilty because it seemed like I was a rich lady who was used to good service or something. When really I'm a poor lady who was going to a rich lady place so i expected rich lady treatment. Jeff is out at sea. I heard from him a few days ago. He's fine. No big news. Just out fishing and doing his thing--I guess he's waiting to tell me about losing his thumb in person. Or how the spice rack fell on him again. I've been reading all my buddhist literature about dealing with loneliness. how to walk right into it and not try to run away from it and let it deepen yourself. Let it open your heart to all the people on the earth who are going thru a loneliness that is far more profound than 3 months. And it was going really well and then I took half a xanax that a friend gave me. And I felt no more loneliness. It was so boring.