Monday, June 18, 2012

I think Bunny was on the TV show Intervention

Leo told me tonight that he had a sister and her name was Bunny. She lives in car and wears comfy pajamas. Her hair is yellow and she has a long pink tongue. She sounds likes she has a crack problem. But it's the first time he's invented somebody so I respected the character sketch. Very specific. The comfy pajamas really brought her to life for me. Thank god for Bunny because without the creation of her this day would have been fairly hellish. He just had a hard day every moment I was with him. He was screaming at me to turn up the music LOUDER!!! LOUDER!!! or DON'T SING!!! or sobbing about the laundry not being ready or sobbing about TV or sobbing about a kid on the playground wanting to chase him. And just now he went to bed crying for more stories...and it's almost a half hour past his bed time. I can only guess--hope that he's having a tough time and he's tired. A Monday. Today when he was yelling at me in the parking lot of the pet store (much like Bunny would do I think) I got scared that he was getting mad that Jeff wasn't here. I thought about Jeff's nieces and how their dad toured a lot and they would start barking orders at their Mother and taking EVERYTHING out on her. And she'd end up on the couch...worn out--saying things like "I don't even think I like kids..I'm serious." I know the feeling. He has such a hard time waking up from his naps. He almost always wakes up in a foul mood. SOBBING FOR TV. Which I hate. I was really tough about no way..no TV. And then I started letting him watch 20 minutes of music videos for kids on the computer. The TV thing is the thing I feel the worst about. There are days when I can't get him interested in doing anything...the best thing is to keep him out of the apartment doing things as much as possible. I'm feeling very guilty that he watches 25 minutes in the AM while I get him ready to go to school...(that one I don't feel bad about actually) and then 20 minutes after nap now (that's only been in the last 2 days and I'm starting to think.."to hell with it" and let him watch. Though I feel like it may be better for him to learn to wake up and wade thru the groggy crabby feelings. I DON'T KNOW. all i know is that it's hard for him to scream and cry for 30 minutes. Instead he can learn catchy songs about Fleas having Dogs.) and once in a while he watches while I'm getting dinner ready for 30-40 minutes. So its close to 2 hours a day. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER NOW. Stop judging. I'd like to cut the post nap out...I felt like he was screaming at me all day because he wants his way and he's getting it too much. That because I gave in after nap time is why he had such a horrible demanding day. I actually have been saying things to him like "you don't talk like that to people, Leo. You don't scream at them. We're not Italian." I hope i've not created this. I'll see if he's the same tomorrow. Though I'm going to be gone when he gets up from his nap at an audition. And I told my friend who is babysitting that he can watch a music video. I hate that he screams for it all the time. TV. Not all the time-but the times he does I HATE IT. I wish we didn't have one. But I also don't think it's damaging him...I just don't want him turning into a dick. slightly stressed today. and i can't drink any wine because I'm memorizing for an audition. may at least 8 thousand salmon have lost their lives during this blog post.

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