I only complain a lot so you will all feel better about YOUR lives

It's my gift to you. You're welcome.

Let me start off by saying right now--things are wonderful. Though I'm wasting too much time looking at cars on line when I should be writing. Leo is napping and we went to Davey-my friend Hilary's oldest kids-birthday this morning and it was a classic four year old birthday with spiderman theme and hotdogs. Leo was right in the middle of all the older kids having a blast. He didn't care that the guy dressed up as Spiderman was pooling sweat under his outfit in odd places and needed some sort of male girdle. Or jockstrap I guess it would be. GOD I HOPE THE GUY PLAYING SPIDERMAN DOESN'T HAVE ANY MUTUAL FRIENDS OF MINE ON FACEBOOK!!!! (I'm letting it go...I'm letting it go...)

Davey's fourth birthday was Leo's first real birthday party. god, it must be a lot of work for the parents. though hilary and deron seemed pretty low key. Maybe it was the Sangria.

Yesterday was so hard. wow. It almost made me want to cut out coffee. I could tell my anxiety levels were not being helped by my non-stop coffee drinking.

First I screwed up the italian nanny's schedule. I honestly didn't see the email she sent me laying out her schedule--I thought yesterday was her last day. But she's free for 2 more weeks and was counting on working. As I apologized and felt horrible about not seeing the email she sent me Leo was pounding me on the head with a candle stick. Hard. I told him to stop but every time I turn back to her with "I'm so sorry--I know you were counting on this--I'll just cancel Davey Blue and then we--"BANG. Leo would clobber me. Maybe the nanny was giving him little nods of approval and direction--and mouthing "hit her....wait..not now...NOW"

Then I went on too long of a run. So now I'm getting TOO fit.

Then I accidentally went in and test drove a car and I liked it but the sales guy was on a tear to get that car sold before 7:30 that night. He was calling and calling and telling me how I HAD TO WRITE A CHECK NOW or else. Jesus...and I did like the car but I can't get myself to get a car without Jeff here. I'm not good with...details. At one point when the guy had called me for the third time I was like "god, you're like a car salesman or something."

THEN for some crazy reason--maybe because I was crazy--Leo would not nap. At all. He cried and cried and I stopped trying and then tried again and eventually he took an hour nap but it was crazy. I've never seen him fight it like that. And I was like oh my god, what if the 3 hour nap times are coming to an end????

and THEN!!!! THEN!! I talked my friend into coming to this expensive "Baby Loves Disco" event at a local hotel..and it was in a conference room with little booths selling things. It was an Amway baby event thing--so heavily sponsored it was irritating. I'd had this idea that it was going to be an adult bar where they just turned the lights up a little bit and turned down the music and the kids all danced and ate the food while the parents drank. Not so much. And speaking of Fellini--the event started feeling like one to me. All the exuberant parents and children with their faces painted... in the middle of the event I started having huge waves of anxiety...tears were streaming down my face. I'm not sure why. It stressed me out--so we went outside to the beach to relax and it was relaxing and way better--until my friend got her wallet stolen. So that was a nice way to end a hell day. And I might as well have stolen her wallet myself I felt so responsible for some reason. I just felt bad for her. The night before she'd been at her husbands film premiere for the new Planet of the Apes movie he directed and now some hoodlums are buying pumpkin shakes and egg sandwiches at Jack in the Box. Which turns out was the only charge on the card when she finally cut it off. (Dear April, I know that hoodlums get hungry too and crime is a result of our societies riff of rich and poor..I too stole things as a teenager so I am for sure a 'there but for the grace of god go I" except I can't eat at Jack in the Box since the whole E.coli thing. Not that I judge E. coli. I know that it's not always a harmful bacteria.)

We ended the night watching Thomas the Train and skipping the bath and going to bed. And he slept all night and we woke up full of hope. We were smiling and beaming with so much 'today will be better!!!" hope that we looked like we belonged a Chinese Propaganda poster...pretty much all the way until nap time.

This age is so cute and fun....and so annoying with the crying and whining. I have found it the most challenging stage yet. Or maybe it's just that I'm alone. Except for my 4 nannies.

Now for the DEADLIEST CATCH UPDATE

Jeff called yesterday and he's doing well. He's lost about 10 pounds he said from the intense work but he feels like he's keeping up with it all. The crew LOVES his food and he is getting a lot of love for that. And the PINKS ARE JUMPING so money is flowing which keeps the fisherman happy. He sounded good--he's very into the idea of August 1 because he can start his countdown to coming home. I was like "you and me both, brother...."

We got to talk for so long that we started to run out of things to say..we eventually pulled out the old Sharon and Sid "I don't want to run up your phone bill..." quote and got off the phone. Which is so old fashion they might as well tell the operator that we're done with the call so she can disconnect us. BUT I LOVE IT. So please don't stop saying that when we talk on the phone Mom and Dad. And don't stop talking about talking to your dead cats "on the other side' either.